What do you need to give yourself permission to start? To stop?

For much of my life people challenged my beliefs and my actions….:

“Why are you so driven?”

“Why do you care so much about being successful at work?”

“Do you need to pursue your Executive MBA? Oh, I would like to too, but I don’t want to desert my children.” (What about my children?!)

“Why do you do so much?” Big job, community/volunteer work, exercise, travel….

I struggled – I was just being me. I have a zest for life, multiple passions and interests, a burning desire to give back, to help others, to make a difference, a love of travel, family, diversity, adventure, the arts, new and exotic places, interesting and unconventional people, a thirst for learning and a drive to succeed, on my terms.

Too often I tried to squelch who I was, by “doing” less, by quieting my voice and my enthusiasm, saving it for those who were not annoyed by or threatened by or misunderstanding of my success, my interests, my passions and my energy.

Of course the crazy irony all along was that in addition to giving myself permission to grab the world with both hands and fill my life, I also had to give myself permission to say no at times, to not take on that additional project, to not participate in that volunteer event, to allow myself to obtain less than an A on a paper, to not receive a “perfect” performance appraisal at work.  And to rest…ah yes, rest……

Being all things to all people takes its toll. I know that logically. I am intelligent. But I would forget sometimes, til my body reminded me. “Why am I so tired?” “Why am I short tempered? Why did I catch a cold?”.

I have learned…I can create the life of my dreams…my dreams. I can create wealth, health, a new business venture, a fabulous long term partnership with my husband, a personal brand, great relationships, a strong family, philanthropy, wonderful friends and a fascinating and enriched life. On my terms.  And yes, I can adopt the habit of rest, rejuvenation and mediation. And forgiveness and acceptance…for and of myself which was always the hardest.

Give yourself permission….to be you….to change jobs; end an unhealthy relationship; speak up for yourself; say yes; say no; rest; take that trip; make the phone call; dust off your resume; create wealth; walk on the beach; take a nap; buy the shoes;….celebrate your wonder. It’s liberating.

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